| "Just Bend The Pieces 'till They Fit. Like They Were Made For It." |
[13 Feb 2004|08:50am] |
"But, they weren't meant for this."
Ghost Of A Good Thing
by Dashboard Confessiol
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
I guess it’s luck, but it’s the same
Hard luck, you’ve been trying to tame
Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”
But, I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say
But, I believe in you so much
I could die from the words that you say
But, you’re chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
No, they weren’t meant for this
Just bend the pieces ‘till they fit
Like they were made for it
But, they weren’t meant for this
Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away, away, away, away from you again
Chasin’ the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself as the real thing
Is getting away from you again
While you’re chasin’ ghosts
|
|
| "I hope you know you’re my favorite thing about the west coast" |
[02 Feb 2004|09:30am] |
Playing Favorites
+The Starting Line+
I guess the most that I could do,
is make a call and tell you the truth.
sing the words and the melody
And hope that you believe me,
Here’s another song for you
So this one this one makes two,
I still don’t know to begin, ill just leave it at this.
I’m sure you always feel my eyes on you,
But I hope that you will never feel unwanted,
Wait for me to move out west,
It’s okay if you don’t,
I hope you know you’re my favorite thing about the west coast,
I wish I stayed I hope you wait,
So here I am counting down the days till California comes.
This is the least that I can do,
You know I’m bad at calling you,
The best way that I can extend the lonely words "I miss you."
I’d say it but I’m sure you knew,
You’re what I look most forward too
I’m coming back to where ive been,
Ill just leave it at this.
|
|
| I was never good at goodbye... |
[30 Jan 2004|09:42am] |
Firewater
by Yellowcard
You sat me down beside myself
To show me all the reasons I was wrong for you
Was this for real? It's hard to tell
'Cause it was such a beautiful mess we had got into
I'm gonna overcome this, paper hearts can't win this time
And all along I should have known this wasn't your dream, it was mine
I know you wanted me to give up this life to be
Everything I was back when you had the hands my heart was in
I was never good at goodbye...
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So this brain in my head can forget your face
When we were starting out, you believed in me without a doubt
You were the finest thing to happen to a boy like me
It's so much harder now, I wanna try and tell you how
There is so much love in me, even though it's hard to see
And I was never good at goodbye...
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So this brain in my head can forget your face
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
'Cause I'd rather be dead than make more mistakes
Today I couldn't stay awake
Feels like I'm drowning in this firewater lake
I won't be sleeping much tonight
It's not the same without you lying by my side
(Right beside me)
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
So this brain in my head can forget your face
Can I swallow this bottle whole?
'Cause I'd rather be dead than make more mistakes
I know you wanted me to give up my life to be
(Can I swallow this bottle whole?)
Everything I am when you're the only thing that I can see
(Can I swallow this bottle whole?)
I'm sorry but you're not the, not the only one for me
(So this brain in my head can forget your face)
You left me here beside myself
Left me with all the reasons why I was wrong for you
|
|
| "Upset with the past, but it's all that holds us now" |
[26 Jan 2004|08:38am] |
+ComeBack+
-The Early Novemeber-
Looking in your eyes
Praising every moment because you're my only light
Reading through stares at your passion that bears me now
Shedding no little tears
The silence scares us more than leaving could
[Chorus:]
Come back
Please don't leave me now
I'll be all that you need in life
Because I can't live without you and
I know all that you need
I can give you everything
When you're so far you'll forget about me
Waiting by your side
Knowing every moment is closer to your flight
Upset with the past, but it's all that holds us now
Believing no lies, telling each other we'll be fine forever
[Chorus]
But I'll wait
I could never leave those beautiful eyes
I know you're sorry
I know what you must be going through
And I feel sorry for you
But please don't leave me now [x3]
|
|
| "Come back from California" |
[13 Jan 2004|08:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
-California-
=Copeland=
I miss the way you sing low
So I can't hear your voice
Over the radio in my car
You knew every word they sang
You know just the right things to say
When the distance rips us farther and farther away
I'll see you see you soon
If you're coming back here
Come back from California
All of us here in Georgia are starved for your attention
Maybe I fell too fast
Maybe I pushed you away
Now you're gone
And I'm afraid that you're never coming back this way again
I won't mind if you monopolize all of my time
I won't say a thing at all
I won't say a word
|
|
| "So buried all lovers clothes and burnded the letters lover wrote,but it doesn't make it any better |
[05 Jan 2004|03:08am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 exhausted |
] |
Its been awhile since i posted in this journal...
Well i just posted this in my cutthroat journal..but i really want you to read it so i'll posted it in this one too...and i guess i'll let it do the talking...thanks for reading..
"Does it make it any better?"
-D.C-
To be honest i really don't know where to start...
I woke up late today...at about 3:30...i took a shower..and hung out with my friends...and about a few minutes ago i realized todays date...the fourth of janunary...tyler and i's anaversary...
Its a amazing trying to forget something you can't stop remembering...my goal this year was to forget him...to let it all go...to force myself to forget the one thing i loved to most...and its only four days into this new year...and i have already failed...i hate this...i don't know what kills me more...missing him..or the knowing the fact that he does not miss me...this is all been so hard..and i had almost forgot how much pain i was in untill today..this day has been a painful realization that every smile i have put on in the last three months has been fake...everything i have done that has made me at all happy was all a cover up of my true emotions..i've put on a mask to help me for get my emotions..but my tears today have washed my mask away..i've told myslef over and over again how much i don't need him..and but inside i know i've just been lieing to myself....i wish i could just forget him...let him fucking go..and live my life..but i can't..i guess thats just the way this kind of things go..i guess i'm just going to have to live the rest of mylife in this pain..and live the rest of my life knowing that i still love him...and i don't think that will ever change...
I mean i'm not saying things are bad with tyler right now..we're still friends and we still talk..but i still miss him..but hes happy, and hes life seems to be going good..and i guess if i was looking at my life in black and white..its pretty good too..so why aren't i happy?
I wish i knew what to do...i wish i knew what would make all this pain go away...i just wish i could call him..but he doesn't care..he doesn't want to hear me cry...so i'll just cry myself to sleep..and tomorrow i'll wake up and get on with my life..not talk about him..and try to forget him...just like every other day..wish me luck.
-kels
The Brilliant Dance
by Dashboard Confessional
[ Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<i?>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.] Its been awhile since i posted in this journal...
Well i just posted this in my cutthroat journal..but i really want you to read it so i'll posted it in this one too...and i guess i'll let it do the talking...thanks for reading..
<font color="9966FF"><big><i>"Does it make it any better?"</big></i></font>
-D.C-
To be honest i really don't know where to start...
I woke up late today...at about 3:30...i took a shower..and hung out with my friends...and about a few minutes ago i realized todays date...the fourth of janunary...tyler and i's anaversary...
<i><b>Its a amazing trying to forget something you can't stop remembering</i></b>...my goal this year was to forget him...to let it all go...to force myself to forget the one thing i loved to most...and its only four days into this new year...and i have already failed...i hate this...i don't know what kills me more...missing him..or the knowing the fact that he does not miss me...this is all been so hard..and i had almost forgot how much pain i was in untill today..this day has been a painful realization that every smile i have put on in the last three months has been fake...everything i have done that has made me at all happy was all a cover up of my true emotions..i've put on a mask to help me for get my emotions..but my tears today have washed my mask away..i've told myslef over and over again how much i don't need him..and but inside i know i've just been lieing to myself....i wish i could just forget him...let him fucking go..and live my life..but i can't..i guess thats just the way this kind of things go..i guess i'm just going to have to live the rest of mylife in this pain..and live the rest of my life knowing that i still love him...and i don't think that will ever change...
I mean i'm not saying things are bad with tyler right now..we're still friends and we still talk..but i still miss him..but hes happy, and hes life seems to be going good..and i guess if i was looking at my life in black and white..its pretty good too..so why aren't i happy?
I wish i knew what to do...i wish i knew what would make all this pain go away...i just wish i could call him..but he doesn't care..he doesn't want to hear me cry...so i'll just cry myself to sleep..and tomorrow i'll wake up and get on with my life..not talk about him..and try to forget him...just like every other day..<i>wish me luck.</i>
-kels
<big><font color="9966FF"><i>The Brilliant Dance</big></i>
by Dashboard Confessional
<i?>So this is odd,
the painful realization that all has gone wrong.
And nobody cares at all,
and nobody cares at all.
So buried all your lovers clothes
and burnded the letters lover wrote,
but it doesn't make it any better.
Does it make it any better?
And the plaster dented from your fist
in the hall where you had your first kiss
reminds you that the memories will fade.
So this is strange,
our side stepping has come to be a brilliant dance
where nobody leads at all,
where nobody leads at all.
And the picture frames are facing down
and the riniging from this empty sound
is defeaning and keeping you from this sleep.
And breathing is a foreign task
and thinkings just to much to ask
and you're measuring your minutes by a clock that's blinking eights.</i>
This is incredible,
Starving, insatiable,
yes, this is love for the first time.
This is the last time.</font> |
|
| "We will never be the same, " |
[05 Dec 2003|09:15am] |
"Until you're done."
-Sunday Drive-
The Early November
And we wait above a road.
We're turning to go home.
And the silence from the side of the car,
Tells me everything and how we are.
Is there no more trying to make this so right.
Theres no more trying tonight.
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone,
And I wonder if, I'm alone in your head.
I know something is wrong,
I just don't know what to do.
You say it's only me, and, that I'm so perfect for you.
I don't want to try no more,
I don't want to make this right.
I just want you to be true to me one time.
And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone,
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head.
Twelve days gone by, since I have saw you last,
I'll give this one more try,
I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask
What could you be doing that is so much fun?
Without me by your side,
Without me by your side.
And, I will take a step back, and, I'll let you ahead,
And, I will take a step away, and, see if you come back,
Because there's no more trying to make this so right,
Theres no more trying,
Theres no more trying tonight.
We will never be the same,
We will never be the same,
We will never be the same,
We will never be the same,
Until you're done.
|
|
|
[27 Nov 2003|01:57am] |
Cigarette
Yellowcard
Watching the days burning out like a cigarette, just a few drags to go.
You built me up and you broke me down, somehow
Everything just seemed so clear to me, nothing left to know
I'll love you right and I'll love you pure, right now
How can you say, that its too late
To save us now
And I would wait for you, if you would wait for me
And i will Wait for you, if you will wait for me
Intoxicated, the edge is serrated, so easily torn from the core
I blushed the first time, but you blushed the last time my eyes in your mind
Regenerated these feelings of hatred. I long for your love ever more
You built me up and you broke me down this time
And I would wait for you, if you would wait for me
And i will Wait for you, if you will wait for me
How can you say that its too late, to save us now
How can you say
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2003|11:51pm] |
Alone In Santa Cruz
The Ataris
Did I ever tell you that I really love you...
and I think about you all day?
I really miss you and wish I could kiss you
but why are you so far away?
(Chorus)
Since you've been gone
I've thought over and over about you inside my
head
and where I went wrong, where I went wrong
Everyday...
I've been thinkin' alot about all of the things
you'd say
Since I went away...
Since I went away...
I guess I could call you
and ask you "How are you"
But I really don't have much to say
I sit all alone
and I stare at the phone
and I hope that you're doing o.k.
|
|
|
[02 Nov 2003|01:33pm] |
I tried my best to let you know
That I'm not trying to test you
It's just so hard to let you go
When I have nothing against you
|
|
| "How has this pain helped you grow?" |
[02 Nov 2003|01:09pm] |
MIDTOWN
Get It Together
Take off your make up honey
I know what you've been missing
And I've got a card to send you home
It says: Try to forget those good times
Maybe you never were mine
How has this pain helped you grow?
Because you've done so much with your life
To have to settle for
A need to feel
A need to try
A need to feel whole
Do you feel whole?
Maybe we'll see this through
If we get it together
Maybe I'll get to you
If you get it together
Take off your make up honey
Why don't you ever listen
I've got something I need to know
Cause I tried
Tried to forget your past crimes
But were you ever just mine
Was there something that I didn't show?
Because you've done so much with your life
To have to settle for
A need to feel
A need to try
A need to feel whole
Do you feel whole?
Maybe we'll see this through
If we get it together
Maybe I'll get to you
If you get it together
Go. Try.
Try to make yourself right
Go. Try.
To make this right
And move on with your life
Go. Try.
Try to make yourself right
Go. Try.
To make this right
And move on with your life
|
|
| Mind Full Of Maybes... |
[30 Oct 2003|12:55pm] |
My mind if full of maybes
and what ifs
Maybe you still care
What if your just not there
Maybe we can work this out
What if we didn't even have to shout
Maybe your feeling the same
What if you didn't, what a shame
Maybe you'll take the easy way out
What if you wantd to stick it out
Maybe you'll read my letter
What if it to you it didn't matter
Maybe we can be togehter
What if this could last forever
Maybe one day i'll know what to do
What if on that day i could be with you
|
|
|
[28 Oct 2003|11:01pm] |
|
It's funny when you find the words to say you find no reply
|
|
| Lyrics For Thought....... |
[28 Oct 2003|10:59pm] |
"I Won't Make You"
I'm under attack again my dear, I'm in the way
Got no resolutions, no clever anecdotes to say
And still if I yell at the top of my lungs will it be the same?
I'd fly you a flag, I'd bury this pen into my veins
I wanna feel for you tonight
But I won't make you
I won't make you
The telephone number I got for you says nobody's home
The best thing I can think to do right now is leave it alone
And you had an apology in your mailbox since last July
It's funny when you find the words to say you find no reply
I wanna feel for you tonight
But I won't make you
I won't make you
Scream my name just one more time
But I won't make you
I won't make you
And it's been hours now
To be here like this
And just to lay you down
And just to taste your lips
And just to keep me up
God I'm tired of sleeping
And just to lay inside you
And just to know this feeling
I wanna feel for you tonight
But I won't make you
I won't make you
Scream my name just one more time
But I won't make you
I won't make you
|
|
| Pull The Trigger..and The Nightmares gone.. |
[28 Oct 2003|10:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 worried |
] |
hey tye,
i am so confused right now..i don't know what to think..i don't know what to do..i mean..i don't really know what you want..your really sending mixed signs..when you send me signs at all..i just want to know what you want...and its killing me..i mean its not like i want to give up on you..thats the last thing i want....i love you to much...but i know it would be easer now if i knew..i mean it would cuase me a hell of allot less pain...and no offense but you kind of at least owe that to me...i just miss you so much..to much..and i don;t want to..its killing! I know i just have to have hope..and give you space..but i guess i really didn't realize how hard it would be..it kills me everyday just not calling..not hearing your voice..i am so pathik...i just need a sign...something..give me a sign...give me anything? Hope? i just keep thinking of you..and our time together..and it was just too perfect to let go so easly..and i want to hear you say the same..i want to hear you say..you still care..to hear you say..that you just need some space..to hear you say that you want to work this out..and hear you say..that in the end..i'll be the one in your arms..thats just what i want to hear...but this isn't about what i want...its not about what i need..all this is about you..and your life..and your choses...and if not having me be part of your life right now will help you in anyway..i just have to accept that..and deal..but you have no idea how hard that is...or maybe you do..
I guess i've just been thinking too much latley...and i just keep thinking no matter how much easer it would be to give up..and move on..i can;t..your worth the pain..your worth sticking it out for..i just hope i am too...
And i'm sorry...for everything
miss you too much
love always
kels
|
|
| I need you now....more then I ever needed you before..... |
[27 Oct 2003|10:50pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lonely |
] |
hey
Yeah today was ok...well rather the events that happened today were ok..but i wish i could say the same about my emotions...i'm really not doing to well right now..i really miss you..and all i want to do is talk to you..but i can't pressure you and call..i have to give you space..its just killing me..and on the other side all i want to do is look up old pictures..and see your perfect smile..but i can't do it..they would make me smile..but that smile would be short lived, and would be followed by unstoppable tears...and i just don't think i can handle that right now..i really can't handle anything right now...i'm just a mess without you...and all i want is my old life back...but that dreams seems to be escaping me....
love always
kels
|
|
| Lyrics For Thought... |
[26 Oct 2003|11:11am] |
You told me on your birthday all the things that this place had done to you.
And in the streets you walk.
You hide your face because they don't believe that it's true.
They say it doesn't happen that often.
But it's happening right now.
I'm writing you this letter to let you know I'm not alright.
And in this city the streets are paved with hate
And you cry yourself to sleep tonight.
And say "no, there aren't enough love songs in the sky. "
You counted down the days till you could say "Bye - bye, city, bye - bye"
You're walking down on Union
You see the roads and know they're apart of you.
They say it doesnt happen that often
But it's happening right now.
I'm writing you a second time.
To let you know nothing here has changed.
The streets are still paved with hate.
So you can cry yourself to sleep tonight.
Will you look back on this night
As the day that ruined your life.
Will you look back on these city streets and say,
"Oh, God, where are you?"
In these city streets I hide my face.
I turn away when you look at me
And every night when I try and sleep.
I feel your hands all over my body.
You streipped away the street signs and shot out all the stop lights.
If you smashed away all the building what would you have left?
|
|
| Another Day, Another Memory |
[26 Oct 2003|01:05am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 content |
] |
I had a good day today..hung out with some good friends...whatched a movie..had a good time...but still can't stop thinking about you...and i'm staring to wonder if thats good or bad? TTYL
Love Always
kels
BTW!
I miss you.
|
|
| Goodbye... |
[25 Oct 2003|01:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 disappointed |
] |
Goodbye
Words that can't be spoken
Stream down my face
These tear fall on pillows
That lay on lonely beds
Letters that will never be sent
Are now gathering dust
Or letters that have been sent
Will never be opened
Lay dormant in trash cans
My phone is dead
With out you to light its lines
My sky once filled with stars
Is now grey
And my heart is full of scares
But there is nothing I can do
I have lost you
Now all I can do is cry
Because you said that lonely word
Goodbye
|
|
| Lighting Phone Lines... |
[25 Oct 2003|06:45am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
melancholy |
] |
So i think i may have just had the longest phone call i've ever had with you...i think it lasted about 4+ hours...i wish i could say it was full of laughter and sweet talk..but it wasn't..they were replaced with tears..and sorrow..and regret..and believe or not..love..i reaized tonight...that maybe you do still love me..and once again i reazied i love you...and we just had this long and indeepth conversation..and i really think it was what we both needed...we needed to say some things that we boulding up inside..or at learst thats how i've been feeling..i've just had so much to tell you..but i have been so affaid..affiad that you would get mad..affaid that you of all poeple wouldn't understand..i've just been so affaid..and it just feels so good to let it out, and know that your feeling the same..and its just so nice to know that i'm not the only one in pain..and i'm not the only one left missing...
i just feel so much better to know you still care..and to know that maybe one day you'll want to try and work this out.
And yes..i do understand that you need time work your life out...and you just need to work on yourself, and you really don't have time for the constants of a relationship right now...i really do understand that...i just miss you so much..and you just mean so much to me..i just don't want you to move on..and forget me..b/c i really love you..and we really had someting specail..and i think we still do...and maybe it just can't work out right now..but i won't give up on you..and maybe you'll return the favor..
I guess...i just want you to know that i miss you, and that i'm not going anywhere..and no one would ever or could ever replace you..and that no matter what it takes..i'll be here waiting for you..
Love Always
Kels
|
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